before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
