I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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