You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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