its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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