If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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