I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
