Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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