You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
