Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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