Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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