So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
