she peed on how many people?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
