All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
