Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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