If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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