"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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