I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
