Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think your dad took our porno
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
