We won't sleep together?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
