omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
