let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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