Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
