that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
