Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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