i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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