Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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