She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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