yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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