Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
