I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
