"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
His nipple licking is glorious
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
