I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
