i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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