Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
