SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it glows. i had to have it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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