Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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