I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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