Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
