fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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