I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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