the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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