Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
