Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the condom got lost in my hair
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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