she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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