In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the liver wants what the liver wants
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
