Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
