i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
