they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
