so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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