Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
