I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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