just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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