We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
