dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
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