I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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