and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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