why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
