just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
