Do vagina's smell?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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